When I was expecting, I didn’t tell people until I was 6 months pregnant. Why? Don’t even get me started.

Speaking to my friends who don’t have kids yet, I often imagine this picture – there is a one-way door leading to a passage, childless couples are standing before it and those who have babies and kids are on the other side.

There is no chance what so ever for people “before baby” to understand what the heck those freaky parents are talking about before they walk through that door. But then they can’t get back to the way they were thinking before – it’s a one-way door.

My second step was the plan. I am not good at getting (or even accepting) help, which is why I was going to do it myself. No classes, no doctors, no tablets, no patches.

I started to smoke fewer cigarettes a day, from 10 down to 7, then to 5, then to 3. I cut down

Quitting smoking was the greatest sacrifice I’ve made for my baby. If you’re a smoker or an ex-smoker, you know what I’m talking about. I have been smoking ever since I was 18, for over 12 years and really enjoyed it. Cigarettes were a part of who I was and I had no desire to quit during my smoking years, not even once. What is more, I considered smoking to be one of the pleasures of life, and giving up the cigarettes would make me feel deprived of that pleasure, like I was giving up something important that nothing else can replace.

Did I mention how busy I was? I am a working mom, and that means that I work 2 jobs, actually 3 – my paying job, caring for my baby and managing the house. Ever since my boy was born, saving time became my religion. Every 15 minutes are utilized to perfection and for a good reason – with my levels of busyness I can’t afford to lose time, at all.

I didn’t have a clue what clothes to buy for my baby. I don’t like shopping all that much, not to mention shopping with no idea what babies need. Luckily my colleague gave me 3 bags of clothes left from his boys.

10 things I miss about my old life

There are a lot of things I used to love, which I don’t have any more:

Rock climbing – I miss it the most. It gave me this incredible sense of achievement, something I don’t seem to get out of anything I do these days.

Why Eric was born

I got pregnant because I promised Rob we will have a baby. It was the only reason, honestly. I knew full well all the reasons against it – because with a baby you loose your identity to become just “a Mum”, because it ruins your health and your figure, because you will never have a night of unbroken sleep – and the list goes on. But I knew he would be never happy without a child and that was enough for me to give him one