Assuming that you already know why I am hesitating to get pregnant again, here is why I’d do it anyway:
A life-long family connection
I have a brother. I love him with all my heart and would trust him with my life. This says everything about our relationship. My husband, on the other hand, doesn’t have any siblings, and says he always missed having a brother or a sister when he was a kid. How can I deprive my kid of having a sibling, a play-mate, a soul-mate, the closest family he’ll have after Rob and I are gone from this world?
I’ve read an article about this actress, she was telling her life story and talked about a tragedy that she was unable to cope with – her 2 brothers died unexpectedly when they were in their 40s. Normally I am not that easily influenced or moved by the stuff that I read, but one thing she said I will never forget. She said “Most of us on different levels expect to lose our parents, but when a sibling dies, it comes as a huge shock because subconsciously we expect to share our whole life with our siblings”. If that’s not a reason to give Eric a brother or a sister, then I don’t know what is.
My biological clock is ticking. Right now there is a window of choice and I can decide whether or not I want to have kids, but soon – maybe even sooner than I think, it will not be up to me any more. And the chances for a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby are reducing with every passing year. There’s a deadline on this decision and waiting too long to say “Yes” can mean that I said “No”.
To live those moments again
When I got pregnant the first time, I had no idea what to expect. The pregnancy and the first months with the baby were quite stressful, because I simply didn’t know whether or not I will be able to cope with it all. That’s why I was too preoccupied to enjoy the moments with Eric. Rocking him, holding him, his first smile, first laugh, the first tooth. These moments will never return, and for some reason I can’t bear the thought that I will never experience that again. Too sentimental? Maybe.
Because we make good parents
Before we had Eric I thought I’d be a hopeless mother. I imagined myself being negligent, ignorant and unfit to be raising a baby. Not kidding. Parenting was never something I was interested in – well, my feelings towards marriage were the same before it was my turn to become a wife :)
Now I can see that I do a pretty good job, being a mother and a wife. And I enjoy doing it, most of the time. So why not do even more of it? It might be fun!
What are your reasons to have or to not have another child?